walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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