Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
