Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
