Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
