i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
