Soap is not a condiment
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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