How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
