roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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