i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
