im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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