I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
