Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
