Apparently you make a good broom.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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