so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
