this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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