she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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