can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we're so committed to being not committed
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
