if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
