I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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