Sponge bath it is.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
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I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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