i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
