But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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