Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
