This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
