Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
