Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
