It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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