there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he thought i was a dude.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
