every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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