Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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