We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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