U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
