i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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