thus making me awesome and them whores
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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