I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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