he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you had me at cake vodka
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
