Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
