i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
