Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
