I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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