I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize