Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Four minutes until I can fart!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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