I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
