Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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