Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Can i not drive my cunt home
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
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Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
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Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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