What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
