FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
