party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
