just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
