I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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