38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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