just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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