He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Houston, we have a squirter
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
