the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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