that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
