Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
