all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
