She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
