we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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