Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
