Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
