Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
