I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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