Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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